Pivot

Most days were predictable, and life was a lot simpler when they were 6, 3 and 2. Toys littered the living room carpet and getting somewhere on time was basically impossible, but I called the shots. For the most part -- they obliged. I drove.

Now, at 17, 15 and 14 – I have learned (albeit not always easily)  to move to the passenger seat. I still offer advice, but they (mostly) drive now. I’m there to press the proverbial brake, but, for the most part, they are at the wheel. It is my hope that the years of learning, talking, laughing, arguing and guiding have settled in…somewhere. That they can figure out their Plan A, Plan B, Plan C and so on.

I often tell my guys that the best laid plans always need a back up plan. A back up plan doesn’t mean that you are selling Plan A short. It simply means that you have options if Plan A doesn’t choose you. And quite frankly -- if it wasn’t a fit, you might not want to be there in the first place. For example, as college admissions start to trickle in for open enrollment and early applicants, teachers and parents can almost feel the collective breath holding. Gone are the days of a big packet arriving in the mail- instead, seniors frantically scour their —  often very junked up —  inboxes for news. 

Meanwhile, parents see everything in a series of lasts:  that’s the last time I have to pay your school fees; that’s your last fall sports’ season, and that’s the last time he will cheer on the football team donned in hot pink. 

However, these lasts are also accompanied by firsts – this is the first time he gets to decide his next steps, his roommate, his classes. Most of all, I tell my sons – learn to pivot. Learn to be okay with changing directions. Change your lane. Eventually, you will reach your destination. Flexibility and an open-mind are the name of the game. The days aren’t always predictable, but nothing lasts forever, even when we want it to. Pivoting is part of every plan.