Avoid Comfort



Last week, I started walking at 5:45 am in the morning with some rock star neighbors. I had this idea when nestled on my couch, coffee in hand, fireplace keeping me toasty. When the alarm went off the first Monday after a three-week winter break, and my weather app reported 21 degrees, I thought, What have I gotten myself into this time? 

However, since I was in my twenties, I learned that avoiding comfort leads to my best results. I ran two marathons before the age of twenty-five, and while I hated most of both, I completed them and lived to tell the story. Much to the head shaking of my colleagues who ask, “Why do you do so much?” I simply think, I have always been that way. It was not until I filled out a survey for a student in my early teaching days that asked “Does he appear to run on a motor?” that an epiphany struck me- doesn’t everyone? My base drive “to do” has been with me my whole life– a blessing and a curse– I have learned to curtail it to push myself into new arenas, and I have tried to instill this same desire in my children. Now, when I am driven to do something, I try to ask myself…what do I not really want to do? 

That is the thing I need the most.

This had me thinking, as parents, we want to bring our children all of the comforts of life. However, it was not until my youngest son started at a local military school this year (by choice) that I realized we had it all wrong. Much like my bitter early morning walks, he starts each day in formation getting yelled at by school leaders and sometimes drill sergeants from the local Army base. This is not how most fifteen-year-olds like to start a Tuesday, but his commitment to this unorthodox schooling put things into perspective for me. Avoiding comfort yields results. Positive results.

This year, I encourage you to help your student avoid comfort in at least one area. Encourage them to try a class that is a bit harder than the norm. Encourage them to volunteer at a local nursing home once a week and chat with their elders. Encourage them to spend a week building houses with Habitat for Humanity. When we are comfortable we stay stagnant, and learning to be uncomfortable allows us to build self-worth and self-confidence in future tasks. When our kids embrace discomfort, they learn critical soft skills needed for success in college and in the work place.

Finally, as parents, we, too, should embrace discomfort. Doing the work we are good at day in and day out–while stressful– is somewhat predictable. It is easy to do what we are good at, but what about doing something we are not so good at…that is tough. When your child sees you avoiding comfort, they will feel more compelled to give it a shot.

So as you settle in during this second snow storm of the season….ask yourself, how can I avoid comfort and encourage my student to do the same? The moon is beautiful at 5:45 am by the way.